Those 3 little words I love you, saying them may seem like such a small thing in the grand scheme of things but in reality it’s not. The words I love you have inspired countless poems, songs and works of art but when it comes to saying I love you to our children, for some it comes easily but for others not so much, they need reminders as to why saying these 3 little words is nice for the children to hear.
But can we say it too little or too much? And why is it important?
One school of thought says it’s essential to say it because we tend to assume people know we love them from the way we treat them, but this is not always true and we sometimes find out later in life when someone is in therapy as an adult, and they say my mother never said I love you.
They go on to say that it does make a big difference also because as a child you learn how to express your feelings ready for your own relationships later on. Personally I don’t think those words can be said too much, it is how they are said, so long as the sentiment is authentic and heartfelt.
So why is saying I love you and meaning it important to children?
1- It instills courage – when a child knows that the parents love them unconditionally, it helps to build the courage which gives them stability to try new things and take risks.
2- It models what love is – showing our children what love really is, is very important to their future relationships and self-esteem
3 – It lets them know they are not alone – that they have someone in their corner which is important for their mental wellness
4 – It builds trust – building trust is an important foundation for any relationship.
As parents though they are a lot of other things that we can do to show our children that we care such as, listening to them when they talk to us and when they want to tell us something, we can also show them through physical expression of love such as cuddles or kisses or even holding hands and we can also show them by sharing quality time such as reading a book or playing a game and doing activities together. All of these are just as important if not more important than the words themselves.
So now knowing that the amount of affection you receive as a child might impact on adult relationships. What are you going to change today about the way you parent your children, whether you received affection as a child or not let’s break the no love cycle that exists in some families.